location: city hall

[assistanting]

[Everyone from your city hall's parks and recreation department has some Really Important Thing to do that isn't being in the office right now, leaving former-intern-now-paid-employee April Ludgate to handle all of your ridiculous complaints, questions, and concerns about the parks system in your city.

Joy.

Maybe no one will actually bother her in this entire block of time.]

Three hours, god, hurry up and go faster.

Comments

[shineonyou]

[ TEARY EYED?? MAYBE?? ]

Thank you.

[assistanting]

You're welcome.

[fiscal]

[ What, you're going to take the food he brought you and just shove it in your face and leave? ]

[assistanting]

[yes]

[fiscal]

[ Wow, okay.

Then he's going to just be a little thankful for getting through a conversation without a death threat. ]

[shineonyou]

Okay, but legit though-- I just deny all these requests and shit? [ he holds up the forms from before ]

Do I need to get a secondary opinion from someone who isn't you?

... No offense to your opinions, ma'am.

[assistanting]

Yeah, legit though, you just deny the requests. You could ask Ron, who is my boss, but he pretty much hates government.

[shineonyou]

Yeah, I'm definitely not going to mess with your boss. I'm kinda scared just thinking about someone you'd answer to. [ exaggerated shiver ]

Do I get an official "NO" stamp or somethin'? Just to speed up the process... There are a lot of forms here, y'know.

[quiteliterally]

It is a beautiful day, April. I believe you suffer from a lack of Vitamin D. [ he pulls a giant capsule from his pocket. ] Would you like some of mine?

--That isn't all that's in it for you. I'll treat you to the most absurdly delicious juice in all of Pawnee. I made it myself, from kelp and walnut pulp as a base. Then it is layered with strawberries, bananas, blackberries, kale and spinach. It's absurd.

[assistanting]

[She pulls out a stamp]

There you go, have fun, Jonas Brothers.

[assistanting]

[...]

That's not worth escaping.

[quiteliterally]

Alright. [ he puts his hands on his hips. ] What do you want, then? Just name it.

[ he'll regret this. ]

[assistanting]

Murder Ben.

[quiteliterally]

[ there are crickets for a moment like - chris just stares at her. r u 4 real qrl? but then he's laughing! ] What a funny joke, April.

Will you come with me now?

[assistanting]

[She laughs too. Totally a joke. Definitely. 100%.]

Okay, fine.