location: city hall

[assistanting]

[Everyone from your city hall's parks and recreation department has some Really Important Thing to do that isn't being in the office right now, leaving former-intern-now-paid-employee April Ludgate to handle all of your ridiculous complaints, questions, and concerns about the parks system in your city.

Joy.

Maybe no one will actually bother her in this entire block of time.]

Three hours, god, hurry up and go faster.

Comments

[assistanting]

Oh, you know, totally fun.

[fiscal]

Well, I didn't hear any crying so I couldn't know for sure.

[assistanting]

Well I haven't murdered anyone yet.

[fiscal]

The day's not over yet.

[ The joke is trying way too hard because oh dear god, please, please, please let April be joking. ]

[assistanting]

Fact.

[fiscal]

[ Okay the good side: she didn't immediately turn it into a death threat against him. Bad side: she didn't go and explicitly say she was joking, relax, Ben, god. ]

...Wanna know what, Andy's not too busy over at Sweetums, I can give him the rest of the day off to come and hang out with you.

[ Either he'll stop her from going nuts or he'll provide an alibi to stop her from getting caught. It's good enough. ]

[assistanting]

What do you want in return?

[fiscal]

...Nothing? Wh- I'm not going to barter for you spending time with your husband, god.

[assistanting]

Okay, then. I accept.

[fiscal]

I'd hope so, considering he's your. Husband.

[ He's so confused. ]

[assistanting]

Are you sure you don't need him?

[fiscal]

Think I can manage without him a while. Unless you'd rather I stick around and. Uh, hang out with you.

[ Come on, this isn't even a choice, April. ]

[assistanting]

No thanks.

[fiscal]

[ Oh, thank god. ]

Then I'll call him after lunch, or. Actually, I should call him now and then hopefully he'll get here eventually.

[assistanting]

Good idea.

[fiscal]

Thanks for the ringing endorsement.

[assistanting]

Anytime, Ben. It's my specialty.

[fiscal]

Well, I figured it was either your undying cheerfulness or your uncanny way of threatening interns with bodily harm.

[assistanting]

I'm a girl of many talents.

[fiscal]

Some of which are honestly more than a little scary, yeah.

[assistanting]

Thank you.

[fiscal]

See, now that I'm reasonably sure you're being sincere about.

[assistanting]

I'm sincere about everything, Ben.

[fiscal]

You texted me that Gojira was terrorizing Pawnee City Hall. How was that at all sincere.

[assistanting]

Godzilla.