voicetest | Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, yeah.

[One of the regrettable side effects of being the God of Thunder was the occasional dramatic thunderstorm which would spontaneously erupt whilst he was hammering something or another...which normally wasn't a big deal. However.

There was a cake.

In the rain.

And it was kind of his fault and he recognized it and knew it. Yeah, sure, he was hammering something or another and saving the world, but still. The frosting was running into the ground. There were words which indicated that this wasn't just a cake, nay, this was a cake that was meant for some sort of festivities. A celebration of some kind! And it looked like once, perhaps, it had been delicious. That was before the spontaneous dramatic thunderstorm.

...in short, whoops. His bad.]

I am sorry.

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[The small girl, who is now soaked - which isn't too bad on her end - and who was having a tea party with a very unhappy (soaked) kitten, a princess doll covered in fake blood and a dinosaur, gives him a dirty look.]

You should be! You've ruined Devour of World's birthday party!

[She points to the cheerful looking green dinosaur.]

[Okay, small kid. Totes can handle this. Gonna kneel down. He's Thor (Br)Odinson, he can soothe a small mortal kid. Gameface on. Feeling like he kicked a puppy here, but he can do this. He. Can. Do. This.]

Young one, I am truly sorry. I would not have ruined your friend's party if it were not important. Tell me what I may do to make it up to you. And...him. [Him? Assuming it's a him.]

[She gets a thoughtful look on her face. Large man who can make it rain offering to do what she wants.

No.

She's totally not going to take advantage of this.

Not at all.

Nope.

And if you believe that, we have a rainbow bridge to sell you.]

Weeeelll....

[She looks at Devour of Worlds and then back up at Thor.]

He says that we must go on a QUEST for new Cake! A chocolate strawberry cake with blue icing and sprinkles on top. The rainbow type of sprinkles, the round kind, not that long ones.

Done, little one! We shall set forth at once to procure this cake at once, for you and for your feared friend, Devour of Worlds. How big shall this cake be?

[If he had sense and/or a cellphone (and the worldly knowledge to feel comfortable whipping one out and using it - while understanding basic technology wasn't entirely beyond his ken it wasn't something he felt comfortable jumping to) he could just call up someone and have them deliver a cake. As it was he anticipated dickering with the markets of super to procure a cake. How hard could it be.

How hard, really. What are the chances that strawberry cake would be really hard to find.]

[One would also think that perhaps he would ask after her parents as well...]

Uuuuummmm.... big! Like... dragon head sized big!

[It's not a strawberry cake. It's a chocolate strawberry cake with blue icing and sprinkles on top. The rainbow type of sprinkles, the round kind, not that long ones. Which is much harder to find.]

[Basically, ultimately this'll result in having to call in a favor or three down the road.]

A dragon's head? [Hahaha, she must be jesting with him.] As you wish! It will be a delicacy so succulent that you will believe that you have died and gone to Valhalla!

Yes! A dragon's head!

[Of course she's not.]

I don't think I'm allowed to go to Valhalla.

[She hands him the damp kitten who meeps in protest.]

This is Trouble. And this is Princess Stabbity. She's a great warrior who has killed lots and lots of people! And fought dragons and chased gods and rides a unicorn.

[She holds up the doll covered in fake blood and holding a sword. It's also wearing a pink princess dress and a little tiara.]

I'm Ceilidh!

((Ooc: So in her world Ceilidh's family has a non-aggression treaty with the Asgardians because her aunt punched Thor and knocked him out for being a bit too... friendly. They're descendants of the Morrigan and thus have Heroic Traits that let them be a bit tougher (and blood thirstier) than normal mortals. IDK if this is something should be mentioned or not.))

( Bruce Wayne stared down at the remains of what had once been a pretty nice looking decorative cake. It'd had names that weren't his on it and everything. Names currently melting off the side...

He looks over at Thor, leaning on his cane. He quirks an eyebrow up as he replies. )

The cake says you apology's accepted. I'm not so sure if Mr. and Mrs. Smith will be as accommodating...

( He shrugs his shoulders, reaching out to catch the tiny plastic wedding couple about to topple off the formerly impressive wedding cake. )

... Then again, the whole wedding party appears to have been blown away.

( Literally all of them are staring at Thor in open mouthed astonishment. The bride reaches over to gently close the groom's mouth with a click of teeth against teeth. )

[If this was a few hundred years ago this would probably be the point in which he would bask in their worship of him and his divinity...? Something like that. Just be like I am Thor! The skalds shall sing songs of your glory in meeting me today! Drink some mead. Flirt with some mortals. Talk about beating up giants. Good times. But that was then and this was now. Now, he was aware that he had committed a faux pas.]

So it seems.

[Okay.]

Friends! I am Thor, of Asgard. I did not mean to disrupt your day of festivities.

[.........okay, he can't do this.]

You there. [aka Bruce Wayne, said in a fashion that's more like the Shakesperian version of "Sup, dude" opposed to "I am too above you, mortal, to bother learning your name", intent may or may not get across.] Tell me, what is customary to bring as a gift to a wedding in this land?

[He has no idea how to fix this he doesn't know a pastry chef does he look like someone who hails from 21st century Earth?]

( Bruce quirks up an eyebrow at Thor's address, wondering when Norse Mythology had decided to roll into town. And why Norse? Most people went Greek or Roman for the ease of recognition.

Then again, most people weren't summoning up storms and lighting and turning cake into the delicacy formerly known as cake, so he supposes it's all about relativity. )

Me? Ah... a lightning rod. Under present circumstances.

( Such dry humor for such a wet moment. He glances back at the wedding party, fingers rolling the plastic figurine of husband and wife around in his hand. )

Or a photograph to commemorate the occasion.

( He tosses the plastic figurine to Thor. )

Would you say you're photogenic?

Edited 2014-03-05 18:26 (UTC)

[He catches the plastic figurine. Cute, actually. He approves of this custom. As for the question he has to take a moment to mull it over because while he's aware of what photographs are and has had his picture taken before and is pretty good at adopting a grin on command it's still something his brain has to sort of adjust to. Like rolling down one set of railroad tracks before there is a click and he switches routes and goes right. Midgard. Not Asgard or elsewhere.]

I would say so.

[Except...wait.]

Really?

[Like is that all it'll take to smooth things over? Really? Truly? Huh.]

[ Loki stands there, umbrella in hand (because why not?) and watching Thor with an almost bored expression on his face. A heavy sigh leaves his lips and he shakes his head. ]

Can you once go somewhere without leaving a trail of destruction behind you?

[Yeah, this is like...just another day, really. Wake up. Bicker. Train. Eat food. Go to some random place. Thor beats up a giant wyrm. Ruins someone's day. Pretty much...mundanity.]

Brother. [Or, to put it another way, dick, but younger brothers usually are.] There was a wyrm! It was poised to devour me! I had little choice.

[It takes Bunny exactly two seconds to realize that the cake isn't going to survive in the rain. Although most would be wholly unaware, she also takes multiple attempts to rewind the timestream—in vain, as the event repeats itself without fail every single time—only to realize that no, she can't save it; there are some things that will happen no matter how much you screw with time.

Festivities or no, she's not really that sure why she was going out of her way for some dumb cake anyway, it's not like she's a sweets sort of girl. Hell, she's not even sure what the occasion was.]

Great job there, sparky. Now whoever made it's gonna need to make another.

[Did she just...? She did.

Actually, he finds that pretty rad.]

I'll have the finest pastry chefs in all of Asgard make them another. It will be fine!

[Which would be legit if he actually completely believed it. Just. Man. Unbeknownst to both of them, the occasion was 'it was homework for a pastry chef and he just got them an F.']

[Is it really his fault, though? Storm's rather convinced she's the one to blame here. Or at the very least, she she shares the blame with him.]

I am, too. [What a waste of food! Ororo looks down at it, then up at Thor.] I suppose I got a little too excited.

I suppose we both did.

[But there was a Doombot. It was to be expected. He looked down at the cake. Looked over at the streamers and the banner proclaiming that this was little Timmy's 8th birthday. A birthday in the park, perhaps with games and fun. Gazed somberly over at the presents.

The party had taken refuge somewhere else, like at the nearby arcade, but...]

What should we do? I fear that I... [Helpless gesture. Midgardian customs are occasionally beyond his ken. This is one of those occasions.]

[Doombots. Ororo had a personal beef with those, so perhaps her rain had gotten a bit out of hand. She frowned at the memory.

But it was hard to miss how upset Thor was. She set aside her own feelings and gave him a reassuring smile.]

Don't worry, we can still salvage this. We could start with a sunny day, I think. [And on cue, the clouds began to part and the rain was steadily trickling to a stop.]

You killed the cake.

[ Raleigh says so with a little bit of wry humor to his tone; it's a cake, and sweets have been a luxury during the war years, but the inexplicable lightning seems like it should get more attention. ]

That's pretty impressive, actually.

It was an accident! [Feeling a little defensive right now. Like a puppy that's getting called out for...anyway.] There was a...a beast. Some creature with jaws and tentacles that I have not seen before in any realm.

That would be a cat, I believe. But you saved us from diabetes, so I guess that's a win.

[ Raleigh crouches, inspecting the scorch mark that was once a cake. ]

How'd you even do that?

Edited (oops icon) 2014-03-05 03:08 (UTC)

Well I'm sure we can replace it.

[To be fair it's almost a relief it wasn't now a cakesicle.]

Do you have a plan? I would not [Know how or where the fuck to begin.] wish to have them wait. [...] And I'm not familiar with Midgardian bakeries.

[It's okay Thor, she's got your back.]

There is one in town. I'm sure if we just explain the situation... [You know, that your queen and your god of thunder need a new cake] they'll understand and help us. I've plenty to pay them with.

But we'll have to hurry, before the party starts so that no one will know.

[How they are going make the ballroom look magically dry is another question altogether, but first things first!]

Are you certain? The treasuries of Asgard would be more than able to pay for a replacement. [And if they'd developed cell phone technology they could just call up someone and have them show up with a ye olde check, but...magical teleportation devices with a lack of phones or other similar devices. Asgard has really weird priorities. Because it's not like you'd need to swiftly contact another in the middle of a pitched battle, right?

Whatever.

They've got a plan. Go team. Lead the way, Elsa.]

Well, the treasuries of Arendelle are very rich as well.

[But it's cool - it's not like disney-scandanvia has cellphones either so at least they are on the poor technology boat together!

but okay leading the way into town!]

[Chell was finally going to get to have her cake and eat it too. And probably won't let a little (okay, a lot) rain stop her. Even if it doesn't look as nice now.

In fact, she'll go with offering him a slice as if to say "apology accepted."]

[You know what? He's going to take it. And gingerly sit down and probably look awkward whilst doing so. Like a bear balancing on a branch. Even if the bear is graceful, perfectly poised, and proud of itself there's still something awkward in watching it descend. It's kind of like...you know that feeling when you're at your grandparent's house and they're fine with you breaking a window but you still feel a bit awful about it? Like that.]

There was a boar. [Wait, that made it sound completely wrong.] A large, flaming boar. [Okay, better.] It had somehow escaped Muspelheim and came to this land.

[...the cake was actually pretty good, which made the drop of rain even worse.]

[There is so much about those words that just don't make sense. So she'll just shrug and go with it. That tends to work best for her.]

It happens.

Well, [looks at the cake] this is a rather depressing Midgardian sentiment.

After so many years, one would think you've learnt control. [of course his words are very biting. There's a wave of Loki's hand and a perfect wedge of cake appears on a plate with a fork in a flash of green. There is now a wedge cut out of the cake, though how Loki managed to make the frosting appear so well without turning back time was a mystery. Of course, it might just be related to the magic keeping him dry.

It wasn't like he didn't learn from growing up with Thor the necessity of a consistent spell to block the rain. He scoops a bite out with his fork and eats it delicately. After a moment] This treat is actually quite good.

[Dude! He said he was sorry! Ngh.

After another pause,]

Is it?

[Loki thoughtfully chews another bite of the cake. He licks his lips, tasting the sugary cream frosting.

He did not know who this cake belonged to but it was his now.]

Yes, Migardians seem to have a way with sugar. [a compliment to mortals, wow, it must be a really good cake]

[ her brown hair's coated with frosting and bits of cake, and some of her face couldn't escape the explosion. a quarter of red candle near her forehead rises with her brow. soft, half-formed words fall from her mouth; ]

Uh — um.

[ jane struggles to think of something to say, acknowledging his apology but needing to express how angry she is. look, she's not a very good chef, she's come to terms with it. scramble up some eggs, sure she can handle that. bake a cake from scratch and frost it? hm, building a bridge to another world is easier. but jane wanted to show her appreciation and affection for thor, so she made him a cake.

which he just destroyed. ]

[Fuck.

Except in Asgardian, but the sentiment of fuck is there. He is so screwed.]

Jane, I did not mean to-...

[She is mad. Stating the obvious here, but it's worth stating again. Trying a different tactic.]

There was an...elf.

[As if that explained anything. He was not unlike a puppy who made a mess on the carpet by accident and recognized that he done screwed up.]

[ good, it's good that he knows that he's fucked. it'll save her the explanation. her words are marinated in sarcasm and she tilts her head to the side, almost like she's sizing up an opponent. ] Are they cake elves? Do they slither like snakes to steal cakes? Do they make the earth quake for a bit of cake? Were you trying to smite them, Thor?

It's cool! I'll just make a new one!

[Quoth the small pink pony, who promptly begins to eat the soggy cake remains. Still pretty good!]

[A+ response, small pink pony. 10/10.]

Are you certain?

[Totally willing to get another cake, here. Even if that was an A+ response.]

Totally! I just made it for fun, anyway. Maybe I'll stick the rest in my party cannon...y'know, for Wet Cake Emergencies!

That's okay! The people that designed me didn't give me a mouth-hole, so I had no way of eating it anyway!

[Oh...

...huh, it's like the Destroyer, except not?]

What manner of creature are you? [Totally assumed that it was an alien wearing armor, like some sort of Iron Man schtick, or perhaps a drone operated from afar like...well...Iron Man and his suits of armor, but that implies otherwise.]

[ The robot does an approximation of a little bow. ]

I am a CL4P-TP steward bot! Well...I guess you could say I am THE CL4P-TP steward bot, since all my fellow steward bots met with an untimely demise!

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Yeah, yeah.

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I'm not sure if I should apologize for her or not in advance

Nah, unless you're apologizing for me wanting to popcorn.gif

No, I am too. He's got no idea what he's in for.

appropos of nothing

A+, 10/10, would support this again.

excellent

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...this took four fucking days oh my god. Saturday, crime. Sunday, crime. Monday, responsibilities.

and then its like i saw your four and tried to raise you one

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And correct me if I'm sensing wrong, but...I do love me some prose.

sorry for the delay

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